My Brother and the Army

The past three weeks have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. With no warning, I got a message from my mom saying that my 19-year-old brother had decided to join the Army. I waited a day to call him, so that I could gather my thoughts and have a coherent conversation not entirely based on emotion. I talked to a friend of mine who comes from a military family and was actually in the Army herself. I hoped that I could talk my brother out of it, but he had already signed papers. There was no going back. Since he has decided to become a Ranger, there have been days that I have cried over the possibility that he could die in Iraq; I have cried over what his Ranger training will be like and the possibility that it could really change him. Then one night, as I lay in bed crying, I decided that I couldn't anymore. His going into the Army had become inevitable, so there was nothing that I could do but pray for him and for his safety. I decided then that I couldn't cry or become upset again until his first deployment. It's mostly worked.

Last weekend, we had a going away party. I was upset that so few family members showed up, but I can't do anything about them and their decisions or the fact that some of them have made no effort to see Jacob the say goodbye. I guess that even isn't as big a deal as I'm making of it, since he will be home around Christmas time as he has time off between Basic and Ranger School.

Yesterday, though, was the last time that I'll see him until late December/early January. That was tough. All that I can do now is support him by writing him letters and pray. I'll be praying a lot for his safety and for him to make good decisions, surrounded by a lot of guys his age who won't make good decisions, over the next for years of his enlistment.